[found years later in drafts, presented as unfinished]
Lisa Simpson: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer Simpson: Well, it's not quite a mop, and it's not quite a puppet, but maaaan! (laughs) So to answer your question, I don't know.
You are a fuzzy puppet creature.
(HD, saves, weapon/armor proficiencies and to-hit as thief/rogue/specialist)
Free Henchman / Muppet logic
You start with a Level 0 henchman, your puppeteer. He is an affable sort, maybe a bit world-weary. The important thing to remember is that he is your henchman, you, the muppet, are in control and they are just helping. If your helper is killed, you will have to engage in complex meditations for a week or spend (10 x henchman level) gp to instantly perform the binding ritual with a new helper.
Your muppet body is resilient to physical damage but vulnerable to fire. It can be repaired using sewing equipment, felt, fabric, and stuffing or makeshift materials even. If your helper is incapacitated or killed, however, you become a floppy, nearly immmobile doll. A fellow party-member can puppet you during this time, but all of your attacks and actions will be taken at disadvantage.
Muppet Paths
There are two types of muppet. Most muppets are very happy with their felt and wire construction, seeking as they adventure to perfect their abilities and become ever more muppet-y. A minority of muppets, however, is dissatisfied with their being, they wish to become flesh and blood and bone. Some see this as abomination and corruption, others as a fancy or a perhaps-distasteful choice. These latter muppets will use sorceries and horrible alchemies to graft flesh and skin to themselves.
At third level, choose whether you wish to remain a muppet or embark on the path to fleshood.
Muppet Aspects - randomly gain a new aspect on leveling up
1. Cookie Monster
Automatically save once vs poison from something you eat today. Additionally, if you have cookies you can frenziedly eat them to gain HP equivalent to a health potion.
2. Bunsen & Beaker
You can spend an hour to craft a potion of cure wounds or a vial of poison.
3. Kermit
Dressed in a reporter's trench coat, you can make a gather information check with advantage / a +4 bonus
4. Elmo
Once per day you can cast charm person / monster at a level equal to your character level.
5. Gonzo (the great)
At level one gain 1 skill point in "inhuman stunts" A successful save means you take no damage from doing something really stupid (eat a car tire, shoot yourself out of a cannon, high-dive into a thimble of water.)
6. Animal
You can rage like a barbarian, a number of times per day equal to half your level (minimum one)
7. Count von Count
You can discover (count) how many HP a creature has at-will. You are compelled to proclaim this number aloud. You generally get a bit obsessed with numbers.
8. Snuffalupagus
You get an extra helper
9. Oscar the Grouch
You love trash, gain resistance to disease/poison
10. Stadler and Waldorf
Once per day you can make a cutting remark that will completely demoralize its target.
Homer Simpson: Well, it's not quite a mop, and it's not quite a puppet, but maaaan! (laughs) So to answer your question, I don't know.
You are a fuzzy puppet creature.
(HD, saves, weapon/armor proficiencies and to-hit as thief/rogue/specialist)
Free Henchman / Muppet logic
You start with a Level 0 henchman, your puppeteer. He is an affable sort, maybe a bit world-weary. The important thing to remember is that he is your henchman, you, the muppet, are in control and they are just helping. If your helper is killed, you will have to engage in complex meditations for a week or spend (10 x henchman level) gp to instantly perform the binding ritual with a new helper.
Your muppet body is resilient to physical damage but vulnerable to fire. It can be repaired using sewing equipment, felt, fabric, and stuffing or makeshift materials even. If your helper is incapacitated or killed, however, you become a floppy, nearly immmobile doll. A fellow party-member can puppet you during this time, but all of your attacks and actions will be taken at disadvantage.
Muppet Paths
There are two types of muppet. Most muppets are very happy with their felt and wire construction, seeking as they adventure to perfect their abilities and become ever more muppet-y. A minority of muppets, however, is dissatisfied with their being, they wish to become flesh and blood and bone. Some see this as abomination and corruption, others as a fancy or a perhaps-distasteful choice. These latter muppets will use sorceries and horrible alchemies to graft flesh and skin to themselves.
At third level, choose whether you wish to remain a muppet or embark on the path to fleshood.
Muppet Aspects - randomly gain a new aspect on leveling up
1. Cookie Monster
Automatically save once vs poison from something you eat today. Additionally, if you have cookies you can frenziedly eat them to gain HP equivalent to a health potion.
2. Bunsen & Beaker
You can spend an hour to craft a potion of cure wounds or a vial of poison.
3. Kermit
Dressed in a reporter's trench coat, you can make a gather information check with advantage / a +4 bonus
4. Elmo
Once per day you can cast charm person / monster at a level equal to your character level.
5. Gonzo (the great)
At level one gain 1 skill point in "inhuman stunts" A successful save means you take no damage from doing something really stupid (eat a car tire, shoot yourself out of a cannon, high-dive into a thimble of water.)
6. Animal
You can rage like a barbarian, a number of times per day equal to half your level (minimum one)
7. Count von Count
You can discover (count) how many HP a creature has at-will. You are compelled to proclaim this number aloud. You generally get a bit obsessed with numbers.
8. Snuffalupagus
You get an extra helper
9. Oscar the Grouch
You love trash, gain resistance to disease/poison
10. Stadler and Waldorf
Once per day you can make a cutting remark that will completely demoralize its target.
